Cherry Yacht of the Gods: Floating an Idea for an Improved Naval Megavessel

June 27th, 2008

So I live with this person who likes to watch Titanic, as well as the Wolfgang Peterson remake of Poseidon, over and over and over again. And over again. And so I too have watched over and over again as Mlle. Titanic the debutante munches thoughtfully on an icecube and decides to emcee a rousing round of King of the Mountain for her 2,223 guests. And I’ve watched over and over again as a rogue wave rolls Lady Poseidon over on her back as if to see what happens. Answer: She gets screwed. Read the rest of this entry »

Odin’s Frican Balls: Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Beowulf

June 26th, 2008

The key to Robert Zemeckis’s recent film Beowulf is to understand that it’s an old man’s story. Not so much a story about an old man, as the sort of story an old man would want to tell the youngsters around him. And not a story told by just any old man, but by one with a great sense of humor, a great sense of regret, and a great memory of what it’s like to be young. Read the rest of this entry »

Spear It in the Sky: Pinning Down the Utility of the Term “Spirit”

June 24th, 2008
“While we scoff at them, what we don’t realize is that these shamans, in speaking of ’spirit,’ are using ’spirit’ to describe a highly complex and technical reality, much the same way that physicists use the term ‘quark.’ ” -Terence McKenna, reconstructed from memory. Read the rest of this entry »

Quote Eco-Warrior Attacks Big Families Endquote

June 21st, 2008
Dave Toschi: And man is the most dangerous animal of all?
Arthur Leigh Allen: That’s the whole point of the story. Read the rest of this entry »

Hornless Unicorn Studios: Movie Ideas of Mine That Won’t Come to Fruition Any Time Soon

June 7th, 2008

Hornless Unicorn Studios, in coordination with Human Dwarf Productions and Virgin Rum & Coke Entertainment, presents a Wingless Fairy Film. Several, actually. If you read the following and realize you’d like to turn one of these ideas into a living breathing movie, by all means go for it. Read the rest of this entry »

Deprogramming Your VCR: Famous Scient*l*gists and Their Secret Cries for Help

June 6th, 2008

If you were bound by blackmail to represent an insane cult for the duration of your natural life, but you had regular access to audiences numbering in the millions, you’d sneak out a few hints about your desperate situation, just like these folks. Read the rest of this entry »

Whole & One: Integrity, Intrapersonal Love, and the Two Perfections of the Lover

May 12th, 2008

“A man has to live with himself, and he should see to it that he always has good company.” - Charles Evans Hughes Read the rest of this entry »

Atlas Plugged: Defending Iron Man from Gold Woman

May 5th, 2008

“Guns will make us powerful; butter will only make us fat.” -Hermann Goering Read the rest of this entry »

Harmony & Diversity: Joy, Collective Love, and the Two Ends of Love

April 28th, 2008

“Joy is the serious business of heaven.” -C.S. “Not Carl” Lewis

“There will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.” -Jesus “Not Quintana” Christ Read the rest of this entry »

I & Thou: Wisdom, Interpersonal Love, and the Two Roles of Love

April 22nd, 2008

“Love your neighbor as yourself.” -Jesus “Not Quintana” Christ Read the rest of this entry »

University of Nintendo: Video Game Ideas for a Future Educational System

April 15th, 2008

A lot of people ask me why I don’t play more video games. Read the rest of this entry »

Golden & Platinum: Rationality and the Two Laws of Love

April 13th, 2008

“Irrationality is the square root of all evil.” -Douglas Hofstadter. Read the rest of this entry »

The Frog Is Dead; Long Live the Frog!: A Meme/Gene Stress-Adaptive Model of Humor

April 10th, 2008

“Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.” -E. B. White Read the rest of this entry »

Le Mime Est Mort. Vive Le Mime!

April 7th, 2008

If you’d asked me yesterday what I thought of mime, I’d have told you, the art of mime is cliched, creatively bankrupt, and frankly unfathomable, both as a form of entertainment, on the one white-gloved hand, and as a career choice, on the other.    Read the rest of this entry »

Ultimate Video Store Classification System

April 6th, 2008

Behold, the Ultimate Video Store Classification System (a thousand billion fanana-fana-fo-fillion kudos to anyone who can guess what kind of business I manage): Read the rest of this entry »